What Are The Pros And Cons Of An Au Pair? (20 Total Pros And Cons –Some Might Surprise You)

experiencing cultural exchange through food, in this picture, a meal from Brazil

Freebie: 100 Au Pair Interview Questions & Tips

If you’re looking for a list of the pros and cons of an au pair, you’re in the right place!

Not even sure what an au pair is? Read our post “What Is An Au Pair? 15 Au Pair Myths Debunked.”

Without further ado, let’s jump to this list.

10 Pros And Cons Of An Au Pair

Cultural Exchange:

Cultural exchange with an au pair offers a unique opportunity for families to learn about a different culture in an intimate setting.

For example, an au pair can provide a unique perspective on language, customs, and lifestyle that can open new doors for families.

Families can learn about different countries, beliefs, and lifestyles, while still enjoying the comforts of home. In addition, having an au pair at home can provide your kids with an additional role model, allowing them to develop an understanding of different cultures and languages.

With that said, cultural exchange and whether you’re interested in it may be one of many factors to consider when choosing an au pair agency.

But if your family is up for it?

It can help your kids become more open-minded and accepting of different cultures while also developing communication, problem-solving, and interpersonal relationships skills.

Ultimately, cultural exchange with an au pair can be a valuable experience for the entire family!

Childcare Assistance:

An au pair is a live-in childcare provider who can assist with the daily care of your children. Read more in our post What Is An Au Pair? 15 Au Pair Myths Debunked For 2023.

Au pairs can be a great help to host families by providing childcare assistance. Au pairs provide an extra pair of hands to help with everything from mealtime to playtime, and they can help families manage the daily routines of their children.

Au pairs are experienced in childcare and can provide hands-on help with activities like changing diapers, getting the kids dressed for school, playing games, and helping with homework.

Au pairs can also help out with light housework and errands, giving the host family more time to relax and spend time together.


Au pairs are a great way to give parents more flexibility for childcare than other options. With an au pair, you can arrange for them to work the hours and days that work best for your family.

They can also provide additional services that other forms of childcare may not, such as transportation to and from activities, help with errands and meals, and even some light housekeeping. The flexibility of an au pair also allows you to customize the childcare role to meet your family’s individual needs.

Plus, au pairs provide an affordable way to hire a live-in nanny, which can be especially helpful for families with multiple children.

You can read more about the flexibility of hosting an au pair in our post: Au Pair vs Nanny: 18 Differences Between An Au Pair and A Nanny.


An au pair is a great option for families looking for a more affordable alternative to hiring a nanny. Au pairs are usually international students who live with the family, providing child care and other tasks.

They often receive a weekly stipend to cover their living expenses, making them a more cost-effective childcare solution. Au pairs often offer flexible schedules and can provide an enriching cultural experience for the family. Additionally, au pairs often have experience with childcare and can provide a positive role model for the kids.

In comparison to hiring a nanny, au pairs can be less expensive since they receive a weekly stipend, and families don’t have to worry about paying for additional childcare expenses such as taxes, insurance, and other fees.

Note: beware of these hidden au pair costs.

Language Acquisition:

Hosting an au pair can be a great way to help your kids learn about other languages. An au pair is a young adult from another country who lives with your family, provides child care, and helps with household tasks if needed.

Through living with your family, they can teach your kids the language they speak and help them learn about the culture of their home country. An au pair can also be a wonderful mentor to your kids, providing them with guidance and support. And if the cross-cultural exchange experience interests you, it can be a fantastic reason to hire an au pair.

By interacting with someone from another culture and language, your kids will gain a greater understanding of the world and learn more about different cultures.

Personalized Care:

An au pair will provide one-on-one care for your children, which can lead to a more personalized and nurturing experience for them.

An au pair provides more personalized childcare than a daycare teacher because of the smaller ratio of children to caretakers. An au pair is typically just looking after one or two children, meaning they can provide more individualized attention and support to each child.

This allows for a more personalized approach to each child’s development, including developing their interests and talents, as well as helping them to build strong relationships and self-esteem.

An au pair also has more time for activities and outings with the children, allowing for more meaningful experiences and memories.

Positive Role Model:

An au pair can be a positive role model for kids in many ways.

They can provide an example of hard work, dedication, and a sense of responsibility. The au pair can also provide guidance and support in areas such as school work, extracurricular activities, and other areas of personal development.

They can also serve as a role model for good manners, respect for others, and good decision-making.

But remember this:

Finding someone who has the right set of skills to be a positive role model is part of what makes a great au pair.

As a role model, the au pair can help shape the children’s values, attitudes, and behaviors. Lastly, they can provide a safe and loving environment for the kids to grow and learn.

Enhanced Social Skills:

An au pair can be a great way for host family kids to develop their social skills through a unique and beneficial perspective. As a part of the family, an au pair can provide a level of comfort and companionship that the children may not get from other adults outside of the family.

Through conversations and activities, an au pair can help kids learn to communicate effectively and build social skills such as cooperation, teamwork, and empathy.

The au pair’s own cultural background and experiences can provide an entirely new perspective for kids to explore and learn from, leading to increased self-awareness and understanding of the world around them.

passports ready to travel the world with their owner

Travel Companion:

Traveling with an au pair can be a great way for families to have trusted childcare support while having a great vacation. An au pair can be a great help in taking care of the kids while parents enjoy the vacation.

An au pair can help keep the kids entertained and supervised at all times, allowing the parents to enjoy their time away. Additionally, an au pair can help with the planning and organization of the family’s trip, giving the parents more time to enjoy their holiday.

Plus, an au pair can help to teach the children about the culture and language of the country that the family is visiting, which can be a great educational experience for the kids. Last, an au pair can provide an extra level of security for the family, knowing their kids are being watched by a responsible and trusted adult.

Lifelong Relationship:

The relationship a family can build with an au pair can be incredibly special, and one that can last a lifetime. The au pair is often a part of the family, living in the home and helping to take care of the kids.

They become an integral part of the family, as they spend countless hours with the children, helping them grow and discover the world!

As the children grow up and move out of the home, the bond between the family and the au pair remains strong, with the au pair often returning for visits and keeping in touch with the family for years to come.

The relationship that is built with an au pair can be one of the most meaningful and long-lasting connections a family can have.

10 Cons About Hosting An Au Pair

Limited Privacy:

Living with an au pair provides a host family with a unique opportunity to bring someone into their home and benefit from their help with childcare and other duties.

However, the presence of an au pair in the home can also mean that the family has less privacy. With someone living in their home, family members will need to be mindful of their conversations and behavior, as the au pair will be in the midst of their daily lives.

In addition, the family may need to adjust their daily routines and activities to accommodate the au pair’s schedule.

Although living with an au pair can be beneficial for a host family, it is important to consider the potential lack of privacy that comes with it.

Additional Responsibility:

It can be difficult for the family to balance their duties as both a manager and a host.

For example…

It can be tough for the family to make sure the au pair is completing their work duties properly, while at the same time making sure that their home is a welcoming and hospitable place.

This can create tension and stress for both the host family and the au pair, which can make the living arrangement less enjoyable for everyone.

Since the host family is responsible for managing the au pair’s pay, they must make sure that they are accurate and fair in their payments to the au pair.

Communication Challenges:

Host families and au pairs can face a range of communication challenges.

These challenges can include language barriers, cultural differences, and different expectations. For families that have an au pair from a different country, language barriers can prevent easy communication, and cultural differences can lead to confusion or misunderstandings.

For example, host families and au pairs can have different expectations about the role of the au pair, and how much time and attention should be devoted to the children in the family.

By communicating openly and honestly, families can work together to ensure that everyone’s needs are met.

Cultural Differences:

When hosting an au pair, a host family may face unique cross-cultural challenges.

For instance, the host family and au pair may have different expectations of family and household roles and responsibilities, as well as different approaches to child-rearing.

The au pair’s cultural background may lead to different approaches to communication, including the use of different languages, which could lead to misunderstandings and frustration.

The au pair may also have different dietary habits, religious beliefs, and values than the host family, which could lead to further cultural differences and potential conflicts.

To ensure a successful relationship, host families should make a concerted effort to learn about the au pair’s culture and keep an open dialogue about any potential issues that may arise.


One of the most common challenges is helping an au pair deal with homesickness.

Homesickness can be a difficult emotion to handle and can be especially hard for an au pair who is living in a foreign country.

As a host family, it’s important to be understanding and patient with the au pair and to offer support.

Listen to their feelings and provide comfort and reassurance.

Encouraging the au pair to stay connected with their family back home and to keep a positive attitude can also be helpful.

Last, providing opportunities for the au pair to explore and enjoy their new home can help them to adjust and to feel more at home in the host country.

Limited Childcare Experience:

Having an au pair who has limited childcare experience can be challenging, as they may not have the skills and knowledge necessary to provide the best care for your children.

They may not be up to date on the latest child safety practices, may not be able to recognize signs of illness, and may not be able to entertain or engage in activities that are developmentally appropriate for your children.

Furthermore, an au pair with limited childcare experience may be less confident in their ability to handle difficult situations, such as behavioral issues, and may not be able to handle them effectively.

It is important to ensure that your au pair is properly trained in childcare and has the necessary qualifications to ensure your children’s safety and well-being.

Limited Flexibility:

An au pair who isn’t flexible can be extremely challenging for a host family. If their expectations are not met, they can become difficult to work with and may not be willing to compromise.

This can lead to a lot of frustration for both the au pair and the host family, as the host family may feel like they have to constantly work around the au pair’s unwillingness to budge on certain matters.

And t difficult to reach common ground, leading to a strained relationship.

Miles To Your Car

Having an au pair can add miles to your car for a variety of reasons!

For starters, the au pair will likely use your car to run errands, take trips, and drive the kids to activities and appointments.

Additionally, the au pair may take your car on family vacations or weekend trips, further adding to the total mileage.

All of these extra trips and drives can quickly add up, resulting in more miles on your car.

Time Commitment

Hosting an au pair requires a significant time commitment, both in the initial process of hiring and then in providing ongoing guidance and support throughout the duration of the stay!

This can include everything from completing paperwork to arranging travel and visas to orienting the au pair with the family and their routine. After the au pair’s arrival, family members will need to dedicate additional time to providing ongoing support and instruction, ensuring that all parties are able to benefit from the experience.

The Cost Of It All

Hosting an au pair can be an expensive commitment!

The typical weekly cost of hosting an au pair is between $340 – $350 dollars.

This usually includes the weekly stipend, agency fees, and taxes.


You will need to factor in the cost of meals, room, and board. It is also important to note that there may be other unexpected costs such as medical insurance, visa fees, and transportation costs.

It is important to plan for these potential costs before making a decision to host an au pair.

Wrapping Up

So there you have it folks, 20 pros, and cons of an au pair.

What do you think- can you think of any others?

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